On feminism

On feminismโ€ฆ.

I’ve had this rant ruminating in my little head for a while now about feminism, and recently I’ve been inundated with examples of exactly WHY I need to write it.

So, first things first…Yes, absolutely, 100% I am a feminist. I fail to see why any sane woman wouldn’t be. I’m not in the ranks of Germaine Greer or Naomi Wolf, but the older I get, the more passionate I feel about the cause. My children are being raised by a stay-at-home mum and a working dad, not as an example of staid traditional principals, but because feminism has worked to give women the choice of working outside the home or within the home without judgement

I’m raising my children to be feminists – and yes, this definitely does include my 2 sons. I think it’s more important than ever to instil in children the belief that there needs to be equality between the sexes. I don’t want my sons to grow up and think that it is okay to dissemble a woman into a scrap heap of body parts, there for their aesthetic pleasure, fine in doing so because that’s ‘just what guys do’, or because they are ‘with the bros’. I don’t want my children to grow up mindlessly listening to some of the misogynistic music on the radio without at least considering the meaning of the lyrics.

My daughter is told every day that she is beautiful….and also that she is clever and brave and kind and strong. My sons have been raised playing with dolls, wearing tutus and being praised for being kind and gentle boys alongside their games of wrestling, truck racing and super hero role plays.

We’ve campaigned for the right to vote, we’ve burnt the bras and fought to have equal pay (still a work in progress to be fair, but moving slowly in the right direction), we’ve demanded acknowledgement and understanding and respect. I feel we’ve swung so far the other way now – a women who declares herself a feminist has the image of a hairy-armpitted, butch angry woman to contend with, and young women in our society seem to feel that their power lies in being as overtly sexual as their male counterparts (just watch the various “shore” reality shows for examples of them). I argue that a strong, powerful women in our society is one who can calmly and firmly state her beliefs and her opinions and who clearly understands her boundaries and has an expectation of how she should be treated. I’m raising my daughter to be this woman, and my sons to be the men who respect her for it.

xx

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femi3femi4ย  (images via pinterest)

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18 thoughts on “On feminism

  1. Your final couple of lines topped of your great post perfectly and is what I hope for my Daughter but have never been able to articulate into the words like you have.

    So thank you so much.

    “…a strong, powerful women in our society is one who can calmly and firmly state her beliefs and her opinions and who clearly understands her boundaries and has an expectation of how she should be treated. Iโ€™m raising my daughter to be this woman, and my sons to be the men who respect her for it.”

    WCx

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    1. Wow, thank you! I’m so pleased that it struck a chord with you. It’s a hard balance sometimes I think, raising a girl to be a strong woman rather than a woman who believes that yelling loudly over other people and swearing lots is being strong (and I love a good swear in the right conditions!). I think we’re all part of a feminism journey that’s been going on now for generations, and our job is to live as consciously as we can, and to raise respectful travellers. Thank you so much for your lovely comment! xx

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  2. You’ve prompted me to write a blog on power & how if I’m honest I’ve been sexist against women by seeing power as a male complement and outer beauty as the only complement to give women (yes I know it’s screwed up, conditioning plays a part). Thank you for the post.

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    1. Thank you AJ! It’s so exciting to know that what I’ve written has provoked some introspection and self-discovery. I think the viewpoint you’ve explained is a fairly common one, and I believe it’s why women get so competitive with each other. I think that it’s only when we stop seeing each other as rivals and start to build each other up that we’ve truly reached the point that we need to be at! Can’t wait to read your blog. x

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    1. Thank you Sarah! If I get all ‘conspiracy theory’ on it, I’d start thinking that the image of a feminist that is so prevalent (we all know her – the angry, hairy, almost rabid woman) was propaganda spread by the anti-feminist agenda. ๐Ÿ˜‰ the reality is far from that in most cases! I’m so glad you liked the post – thank you! xx

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  3. This is an awesome post! I’m a feminist, and so many people – including women – don’t seem to understand what it means, or think it’s something negative. I love that you’re raising your boys that way too. I hope one day I can be an awesome feminist mum.

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    1. Thanks Lena! I 100% agree that people don’t understand what feminism means…hopefully I’m changing that one child at a time. I took our youngest son to the chiropractor the other day and she commented on his pink nail polish (big sis was getting a manicure from gran and he wanted one too), I challenged her a little on it and she made the comment “I suppose no one kicks up a fuss when little girls play with trucks, so why shouldn’t little boys wear nail polish?”…woohoo! One convert down…. x

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  4. I’m sad to say that so many people still don’t understand that feminism is about equality, about having that right to make our own choices, not hating men. It’s something I come across every day and I find it so frustrating.

    “A strong, powerful women in our society is one who can calmly and firmly state her beliefs and her opinions and who clearly understands her boundaries and has an expectation of how she should be treated”. LOVE THIS.

    Great post xo

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    1. I completely agree Meagan…feminism is HUGELY misunderstood and so many young women buy into the misinformation about feminism and choose not to look further into it, and it’s a huge loss – both for them, and for the feminism movement!
      X
      PS – SUPER excited to have you read my little blog!

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  5. You’ve made quite a few interesting points on feminism that I haven’t thought of much before. I really found this interesting and it kind of woke me up a bit about your sons running around in tutus. (#loveit) . I’ve got this thing in my head where when I get married and have a family I want to be a stay at home mum because I want to be there for my kids. Some of my more out there feminist friends say that my thoughts are conforming to a very sexist attitude. But I love working and I love kids but I would want to do one thing at a time for a while if you know what i mean? Haha I hope this made some sense! ๐Ÿ™‚

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    1. Woohoo! Thank you! I absolutely believe that you can be a great stay at home mum and a staunch feminist at the same time – modern feminism is all about informed choice. I choose to stay at home with my children, and to give them an example of a strong, intelligent woman. I loved my career before children, and I’m really excited about my little business….AND I’ve enjoyed staying at home with my children while they are young. In our situation, it’s what worked best. x

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  6. This was a really interesting read. I always find it so hard to defend myself when people start tearing in to feminists and I feel like this has opened my eyes a little more and put me in a better position to explain myself. Great post ๐Ÿ™‚

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    1. Thank you! That’s such a lovely comment. ๐Ÿ™‚ I think feminism is one of those issues that gets people really passionate and it’s pretty simple – in order for us all to evolve, we have to believe that we’re all on an even footing! x

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